Don't touch my pants!
by Scratches
Summary: Draco and Harry touching each others pants... and Lee's confusions.. what does this lead up to? HPDM


Author- Scratches

Date- March 6, 2002

Disclaimer- I don't own anything related to the Harry Potter book/movie series.. in which I think they should make into an animated series with anime people! ^.^

Claimer- the plot title and umm any thing that's not related to the HP series.

Warnings- Ummm Insanity..

Pairings- Umm… you can't know.. why? Because I said so of course!!

Authors note! Hmm wanted to tell you its umm humor I'm listening to Dave Navarro so that isn't helping and I am very hungry.. so be thank full I'm typing this for you.

Enjoi!

Don't Touch My Pants!

"Wanker…" George said to Fred.

"Definitely a wanker." Fred said back to his brother. 

"Who's a wanker?" Lee asked them after plopping down into a chair next to the famous Weasley twins.

"Neville.." Fred said.

"I thought you where talking about the other wanker." George looked skeptical at his twin and sighed.

"Oh you where talking about that wanker George?" Fred looked at his brother and smiled. "I know what wanker you are talking about now."

"What wanker?" Lee asked after figuring out that he was being left out of the conversation oh so much. He looked between the two of them and chuckled nervously.

Fred looked at George who looked back at him. They then fell onto the floor in peels of frighteningly loud horrendous laughter.

Seamus walked across the room to the laughing duo and looked at the loner Lee who was looking quite lost. "I'm taking it you don't know what happened today in Potions."

Lee looked up at the bubbly Irish man as shook his head. "Will you kindly inform me of what had happened."

Seamus looked from George to Fred and to Lee. "Naw, I wouldn't want to ruin their fun."

Lee got out of his seat and followed Seamus as he walked away. The older of the two stood in front of Seamus and glared at him, "At least tell me who the wanker is."

Seamus looked at Lee and smiled, "Why Harry of course!"

Lee looked at Seamus and back to his friends. The dred head looked once more at Seamus then walked back over to his friends who where still laughing their asses off and poked them each with the toe of his combat boots. "Oi.. So what did Harry do to make him become Wanker boi?"

Fred looked at his best friend and sobered up, "Well.." He looked over his friends' shoulder and called, "Yo Harry! Lee wants to know why you are now a Poof!"

Spinning on his heal Lee looked at Harry who was blushing profoundly. "I'm not a poof as you so graciously put it!" He turned his nose in the air and walked into his dorm room.

"Poof!" George called up the stairs to his dorm. 

"Our little Potter the Pooooooooof!" Fred and George chorused to him.

"That is so low, even Malfoy didn't say something like that!" Hermione now walked into the common room a little more than peeved at the seventh years' antics.

"Yeah, well I bet Malfoy enjoyed what was happening to him!" Seamus called from across the room. "I know I would have!" 

"We all know you wanted him to touch your pants Seamus!" Lavender squeaked from a corner of the room.

Lee looked from one person and to the next. He put his hands to his head and fell to the floor. "Ahhh major major information overload.. I shall not be able to comprehend what has been said till I have been given details damnit!" The boy looked at every one from the ground and people swarmed around him and started to tell him of why Harry was now Wanker Boi.

"…He touched his unmentionable area…."

"…He did not! You Wanker!…"

"Malfoy was enjoying it!"

"He was not!"

"I wish that could have happened to me!"

"We all know that Seamus!" Half of the common room yelled at the bouncy Irish boy.

He just smiled and laughed. 

"Ok, one person.. Hermione.. Can you tell me what happened in potions?" Lee asked a bit desperately.

"Yes I can." She smiled sweetly at the seventh year guy who was now sitting in a chair nursing his head since he had bumped it on the chair leg when he tried to get up. "In potions, Harry accidentally touched Malfoys bum and every one made a big deal about it.. that's all the happened.. I swear."

Lee looked at her and then to Seamus. "That wasn't all was it?"

Seamus smiled and started, "I shall tell you my interpretation of the story."

'Twas a fearful day in potions class and Snape wasn't there'

"THANK GOD!" Somebody called out.

Seamus sent a death glare at the person for interrupting his introduction. 'Well since Snape wasn't there, Harry just decided to get up to use the Loo and who gets in the way of the door but none other than Draco Malfoy.'

"Twit!" Someone called.

"You mean twat!" A random voice called back.

"Shut up!" Lee screamed. Every one cowered under his rage.

"Thank you Lee." Seamus smiled at him and went on, 'Harry calmly asks, "Please Move." And Draco just so has to be a snotty Slytherin and say, "I don't think so." Harry tries to move around him but accidentally grabs Malfoy's nice little bum in the process. "Oi! You touched my pants!" Draco spat at Harry. 

'"You're pants? I'm sorry." Harry said with fake sympathy dripping from his voice. 

'Cat calls where made at this point in time and I moved up closer to the action.'

"Cause you wanted some for your self!" Ron said from the back of the room. 

Seamus turned a shade pink but went on, 'Draco had looked at him with that sexy piercing glare of his and said, "Don't touch my pants."

'And then Harry says to him while smirking, "Why not?" And he grabs his arse again!'

'"Potter…. I'm warning you…. Don't touch my pants…" Draco had enunciated every word like it was a sentence in its own. 

'"I already did Malfoy." Harry smirked sexily and laughter was evident in his eyes.

'Draco then glared again at our fave seeker and then laughed.. Yes everybody Draco Malfoy the big bad dead sexy death eater to be laughed! Then after he stopped laughing he goes, "If you can touch mine, I have to be able to touch yours!"

'Harry smiled and shrugged. Malfoy then shrugged back and smacked Harry's arse! And hell all you could hear that smack bounce off the walls and echo! "Oi.. You touched my pants!" Harry said back in a very Malfoy like manner back to well Malfoy him self.

'"And so I did!" Malfoy looked back at him and they both laughed until Snape walked in where he looked at the two boys.

"Get back to your seats!" He barked at the class.

"But sir.. I was having a bit of fun.. I was touching his pants." Draco said to Snape.

"Yes, Professor! He was touching my pants!" Harry had replied.

Snape then glared at the both of them and told them to get the hell out of the classroom. 

Well we heard a bit of laughter and a few "Ow.. Don't touch my pants!" From the hallway and well that's how Harry Potter became out local gay boy.. He was touching Draco- I-got-a-sexy-body-Malfoy.'

Seamus stood on the table and took a bow as people started clapping from him. 

"So that's how Harry became a poof?" Lee asked skeptically.

The common room nodded and Lee rolled his eyes. 

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a/n- Should I add more to this? Please tell me if you want another chapter.. or more info.. and tell me if it was funny.. I dunno how funny it was.. but it was spurr of the moment and well umm I forget what I was going to type!!!

So please, just review!!!

BACON!

I mean …. Scratches.. (inside joke)

Ps- Swell is as swell as a swell word can be swell! 

Pps- REVIEW DARNIT!


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